“THE DIRTY DOZEN” FOOTBALL PICKS

By: Dirty

I hope everyone has had a good week. Here we are for the First Edition of “The Dirty Dozen”. It is a take on this week 12 best bets in NCAA Football and the NFL. I don’t know a thing about Hockey so never will there be a Hockey play, but when the NBA and NCAA Basketball starts there will be a combo of all 4. I will not go into detail with stats, trends, etc. It will be a tongue in cheek look at the week’s football games. I will be a combo of humor and common sense. Just trying to bring a lighter side to picking games for the week. I will keep a record each week and we will see how I do. I hope you guys enjoy it. I will List the Rotation Number, Team and Line so they will be easy to find.

NCAA FOOTBALL

Not too much stands out this week so I am just going to pick some games that I think are winners. Most of the public may be on them or not. I have not checked.

• 304 TCU Horny Toads -1 – You can still get this game at a PK at some places but -1 is a widely available number. The Horny Toads will kick the crap out of the BYU Mormons on Thursday. The Mormons have played Sisters of the Blind U and the Archangel Monks and their Brethren all year. They played an overrated UCLA Pansies team after they stomped the Inbreds from Tennessee and that is it. The Horny Toads Defense will be the best they have seen all year and their size will bring home a Double Digit win.
• UCONN Huskies PK – The Huskies will Travel to New Jersey to play probably the most overrated Program in the History of College Football. They have been repeatedly been embarrassed at since the Cinderella season of 3 years ago. They got Bitch slapped at home last year by The Greg Robinson’s from Syracuse, Get Manhandled on National TV Twice by Mediocre Programs Fresno State and UNC (AT HOME). Greg Schiano should have taken the Miami jog and gotten out of this cesspool of a job when he could have.
• 325 Kansas Jayhawks +20 – they Battle the Thugs from Oklahoma this week in Norman. Kansas does not have the talent, but I expect them to play this one close. OU the past few years has not responded well after getting bitch slapped, which is what Texas did to them last week in the Red River Rivalry. I expect OU to win but by way less than the almost 3 TD’s you are getting here.
• 338 UGA Bulldogs Under 45 – This total is way too high. UGA keeps losing Tackles like inbreds from Alabama Lose teeth. They are down to their 3^rd and 4^th string guys. They are still Talented enough to win games and will most likely win easily but have not been scoring a lot of points. Look for Knowshown Moreno to rack up the yards and for Stafford to pass just enough to keep the Vandy defense in Check. Vandy is also Changing Starting QB’s after their dismal performance to shatter their Cinderella season last week at the pitiful Mississippi State Poodles. I don’t expect them to score more than 7-10 points. Look for a 31-7 type game here. Expect UGA to be looking ahead a little as well on Homecoming weekend to the trip the LSU next week.
• 374 LA Tech Ragin Cajuns -20 – They are playing the Potatoes from Idaho… Give me a break. They may as well suit up the moose like Cheerleaders and send them down to the Bayou. This is going to be a route by a decent LA Tech team that beat Maryland earlier in the season. Look for LA Tech to put up season Highs in Points, Yards, and Spuds Mashed after rolling up the worst team in FBS football.
• 382 South Carolina Gamecocks +3 – Play the Roosters on the Money line…They beat the Bayou Bengals outright. LSU is looking past the cocks to the Georgia BullFrawgs Next week. Spurrier’s Offense showed some life last week beating Kentucky. LSU is only a shadow of the team they have been the last 5-6 years.
• 394 UCLA Bruins PK – They are playing the Brains from Stanford. Jim Harbaugh has his team playing well but Not on the road. I don’t know why the Line has went to the Pansies from UCLA being a 2.5 point fave to a pick… Really don’t care. They have enough talent to beat Stanford at Home. Look for a High Scoring affair as well. The Pansies win a shootout 54-45.

NFL

• 406 KC Chiefs +8 – You can find some 9’s out there if you are lucky… You will not need them. The Anemic Injuns and their Water Pistol Offense Led by Larry Johnson will win out right. Look for the Unbeaten Titans to come in and sputter. They had an off week last weekend and they will come in over confident and catch one right in the mouth. I look for Johnson to have 150+ yards on the ground and Tenn to have some special teams Mistakes and a couple of Turnovers. Arrowhead is a tough place to play no matter how bad the Injuns are and 8 points is way too much too be laying for a road dog in the parity driven NFL.
• 408 Buffalo Bills PK – Look for the Bills to win easily at home against the SD Chargers who keep winning despite the awful coaching of Norv Turner. The Chargers are fresh off kicking the Patriots ass on Sunday Night football and will get in the Cold weather in Buffalo and get kicked right in the Ding-Ding. Look for a 2 TD win and Lee Evans to have a field day in the Charger Secondary.
• 410 Cincinnati Bengals +9.5 – The Bungal Thugs have been playing better lately even without Carson Palmer. They played well against Dallas a couple weeks ago and their offense is getting better. Look for a Low Scoring game and Pitt winning by no more than 7 points late. The Steelers Defense and their running game will control the clock and they pull out a 20-17 win.
• 416 Chicago Bears -3 – They should beat the Vikings easily. Horton has the Bear offense clicking and they lost a damn heartbreaker last week against my Falcons. They played well on offense. Defense was shaky at times, but with Minnehaha offense it does not need to be great. Look for the Bears to win by 2 TD’s and the Vikings to struggle outdoors again.
• 417/418 New Orleans Saints/Carolina Panthers Over 44.5 – Look for this to be a shootout. The Saints are just snake bitten. They have played well enough to only have one loss this season. Look for them to get back on track in a shootout in Carolina. Neither team will stop the other one. Brees and Delhomme will have great days and the Saints will come away with a 31-27 win.

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